


Rapist Guts

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Deadpool being Deadpool, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Blood, Wordcount: 100-500, contrary to the title theres no rape or rapists involved here, mentions of rapists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 01:58:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19416127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: Wade needs to take a shower.





	Rapist Guts

**Author's Note:**

> The title is in poor taste but uhhh it’s almost midnight and I’m very past caring. 
> 
> This is some weird mix of movieverse Cablepool and the Cable & Deadpool comic dynamics I’ve read in fic. Don’t @ me I’m doing my fucking best.

“What’s shakin’, metal arm daddy?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Wade laughed, shutting the door to their shared apartment behind him with a faint _click_. When Nate glanced up, it was to find Wade in his full Deadpool suit with the mask pulled off. The suit seemed to be covered in blood, but Wade was grinning furiously, so it probably wasn’t _his_ blood.

Probably.

“You look like you pissed off a butcher,” Nate said gruffly, shifting to put his feet up on the couch he was sitting on in an unsubtle attempt to keep Wade from sitting down. “Try not to get blood everywhere? I don’t need Neena on my ass again because she had to steam-clean the whole damn apartment.”

“Awwh, you know Dommy loves us.” Wade skipped --yes, _skipped_ \-- across the room to plant a fat, wet kiss on Nate’s forehead. Nate scowled, but he didn’t wipe his forehead the way he wanted to. He wasn’t about to give Wade the satisfaction. “I’m gonna take a shower, yeah? I’ve got rapist guts in places rapist guts should never be.”

 _Ew._ “That’s disgusting, Wilson.”

“Perspective, babe!” Wade called, already closing the door to the bathroom.

Nate gave a heavy sigh. The water began to run, and Nate did his best to focus on the book in front of him. It was a thriller, some ancient (ancient to him, which meant it was of the present to everyone else) macabre novel about a detective trying to hunt down the criminal that was blackmailing the daughter of a millionaire. It should have been interesting. The plot continued to get more gruesome, more gory, with every passing page. It was the kind of thing that Nate read to remind himself that the future of the world was worth more than the grimdark, dismal end it used to be destined for.

In the end, he lasted all of five minutes before giving up and throwing the book down unceremoniously onto the coffee table. Rapist guts or no rapist guts, there was a hot-ass smartass hogging all the hot water, and there was no way Nate could pass up a golden opportunity like _that._

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write the actual smut but it just wasn’t happening?? I might revisit this at some point and write some fun and funky shower sex, but then again, who knows?? Not me. 
> 
> Kudos/comments are love! Come scream at me on tumblr @deathishauntedbyhumans.


End file.
